Struggling

The last time I posted, I promised to update this blog more often.  I have a confession to make.  I only feel inspired to blog if I can show my best self through that post.  I don't want to show my weaknesses, my stumbling blocks and my humanity.  Because, online, I can be super-human if I so choose!

But instead I'm going to be honest.  I'm struggling.  My competition was almost 3 weeks ago and I haven't been back to the gym, or even had a single day of halfway decent eating habits.  I'm drinking a beer as I type this.

The week after my competition, someone I know commented on my belly, riding out over my derby shorts, so soon after my 6-pack of competition day.  I laughed it off and responded with jokes about trying to make up for lost time and gaining as much weight as humanly possibly now that I was allowed to eat, but it still hurt.

I know I need to get back on track, but I'm a little lost as to what exactly I want to do now.  I'm back into roller derby full-force, but I need to figure something else out to work towards.  A new workout program isn't all that helpful to me without an end goal.  And that's what I'm struggling with.  I still haven't made up my mind for sure if I want to get pregnant right away again or wait awhile.

While I ponder what to do next, I will leave you with a picture from my very first roller derby game this last weekend.