Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Getting Ready For a Party, Mom Style

I've had two company Christmas parties in the last week.  And I've noticed that there is a big difference in how I prepare for going out now that I have children.

Preparing for a night out - without kids:

  1. Run a bath, pour a glass of wine, light candles, and put on some music.
  2. Leisurely shave in the tub, soak, sing along to all your favourite songs, cleanse face, wash and deep condition hair.
  3. Get out of the tub, towel dry, moisturize, pluck eyebrows and brush teeth.
  4. Blowdry and style hair.
  5. Try on every piece of clothing in your closet before deciding on the pieces you originally had in mind for the occasion.
  6. Apply makeup.
  7. Check the time.  Still another 25 minutes before you have to leave.  Pour another glass of wine.
  8. Check Facebook, read a few articles online, and have a light snack.
  9. Try on every pair of shoes you own just in case there is a pair that goes better with your dress than the pair originally chosen.
  10. Decide on the pair you had originally chosen.
  11. Head to the Christmas party 15 minutes early.  

Preparing for a night out - with kids:

  1. Prepare dinner for the kids.
  2. Sit the kids at the table and in high chairs and put their dinner in front of them.
  3. Grab your curling iron and plug it into an outlet in the kitchen.
  4. Take your phone away from the toddler and clean the food off of it.
  5. Put your phone somewhere the toddler can't reach it.
  6. Begin curling your hair.
  7. Pick up all the food from the baby's lap and floor under her chair and put it back on her tray.
  8. Continue curling your hair.
  9. Tell your toddler to get off the table and leave the poinsettia alone.
  10. Put down the curling iron and remove your toddler from the table.
  11. Continue curling hair.
  12. Give your screaming toddler a hug and settle her back at the table.
  13. Continue curling hair.
  14. Clean up the baby's face, hands, clothing, hair, and everywhere else she got food.  Put her down on the floor in front of some toys.
  15. Continue curling hair.
  16. Run to lock the baby gate at the top of the stairs the baby is heading towards.
  17. Give up on curling hair and go to find some makeup.
  18. Clean up the toddler's hands and face.
  19. Glance at your watch and realize the sitter will be arriving in 5 minutes.
  20. Turn on the TV.
  21. Apply makeup and get dressed in 4 minutes flat.  Glance down at your legs and realize you haven't shaved recently.  Put on nylons.
  22. Turn off the TV, give the sitter instructions and head for the door.
  23. Realize you've forgotten your phone.
  24. Search for your phone for 10 minutes before realizing you put it somewhere out of the toddler's reach.
  25. Head to the Christmas party 15 minutes late.

As much as kids make it really difficult to get anything done, I love my kids, and if I had the choice to do it all over again, I sure would!

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